Wedding Daze

Mother of the Bride

Mother of the Bride

Role and Responsibilities of the Mother of the Bride

Congratulations! Your little girl is getting married. We hope that here you will find information on the traditional role of the Mother of the Bride and how adapt that role to a modern world.

Role of the Mother of the Bride

The mother of the bride is seen as the second most important woman at her daughters wedding. She was traditionally responsible for organising the following:

  • The reception
  • Floral decoration at venue
  • Bridal gown and possibly bridesmaids gowns
  • Photography
  • Bridal transport
  • Wedding cake
  • Music
  • Stationery

Over the years this role has changed dramatically, it is much more usual for the Bride to take on these tasks traditionally the responsibility of the Mother of the Bride. With women becoming increasingly more independent, many couples are living together and are more inclined to want to plan and pay for their own wedding. As a result the mother of the bride role has evolved into that which is a more supportive role.

How to do I play a supporting role to my daughter?

  • Offer advice when it is asked for rather than taking centre stage with your ideas relating to the wedding plans.

  • Do not force your own personal tastes on the bride or groom, after all it's their wedding day not yours. The more you insist on your worldview prevailing the less that view will be respected. It's time to polish those subtle negotiating skills to get what's best for both of you.

  • Take your daughter with you when you are shopping for your wedding attire and make a fun day of it so that your Daughter can relax feeling confident that you can share a time together without trauma.

  • Ask your daughter what she would like your help with. This will start you off on the right foot. Signalling that you are prepared to help and take your lead from your Daughter will smooth over any control issues that may be lurking under an otherwise calm surface.

  • On the wedding day lead by example and help to calm your daughters nerves and ensure she gets ready, together with the bridesmaids, on time. This is where your skills as the calm confident mother of the Bride can be allowed to blossom.

  • Allow enough time to get yourself ready, and remember, no matter how you feel on the inside to project a calm, confident, everything's going to plan, exterior.

Read our How to list for mother of the bride:

  • First and foremost, be a warm listener, chief cheerleader, constant complimenter, and otherwise a source of support for your daughter.

  • If asked, helping the bride find the wedding dress of her dreams, as well as other wedding attire should be the start of a successful partnership between mother and daughter.

  • Again if asked help look for wedding and reception locations, particularly if the wedding is taking place in your hometown and not theirs.

  • If you haven't already met, contact the groom's parents and arrange to meet. Do check this through with your Daughter to ensure her support.

  • Choose your mother-of-the-bride dress as soon as possible, and then let the groom's mother know what you have picked. If possible, send her a swatch of the fabric and/or pictures so that she can look for a gown that will compliment yours. A gesture of care and consideration at this point will pay dividends for years to come with your soon-to-be in-laws.

  • When you discuss the wedding budget with your daughter and her fiancé, make sure to be very clear about what you are willing to pay for, and the ideal total number of guests.

  • If you draw up the guest list for your side of the family, offer it for amendments and revisions to your Daughter before inviting anyone off the list. Closer to the date of the wedding, call any of your guests who are late in responding to the invite.

  • Find out how many guests have to travel and either reserve blocks of hotel rooms for your out-of-town guests, and possibly other guests as well or compile a list of accommodation at different price points and distance from the wedding venue for your guests to be able to source accommodation for themselves.

  • Help spread the word about where the couple are registered.

  • One of the fun things the Mother of the Bride gets to do is act as hostess at the wedding and reception. Making sure that the guests are comfortable is a vital role that puts you at the centre of day in terms of guests' enjoyment. This also includes standing in the receiving line, (if there is one) sitting at the parents table, and making sure the bride has greeted all her guests.

  • Attend the wedding shower and rehearsal dinner.

  • Help your daughter will any other details she asks you to!

  • Keep a great sense of humour to get you through any bumps on the journey,

 

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